The Final Kill

Its 0130am and my girlfriend is sleeping across the other side of the room. I’ve plugged my Technics headphones into the amplifier, copied Call of Duty 4 onto my Xbox 360 hard drive to prevent the disc from spinning and making a loud humming noise and turned the contrast on my TV down to prevent the light from flickering which would have inevitably woken her up.

I MUST not wake her up.

All of the precautions have been taken and I’m ready for some fragging.

I’m playing as quietly as possible. The game randomly picks the container level. 16 players in total, 8vs8. I’m playing as one of the Russian terrorists. I’ve picked the Scorpion SMG with steady aim, 3 grenades and the eavesdrop capability which lets you listen to enemy chatter. It’s a small and intimate level where you die at least every 10 seconds if you’re lucky. The level is square shaped with only 3 posts to capture and a wire fence running around it. It has 4 big shipping containers in the middle of the level which creates a + shape path with a post in the middle of it.

As soon as the game begins, I throw all 3 grenades in random directions and get 2 kills without firing a single shot. As soon as I turn a corner I eat a bullet. This level is frantic and it’s every man for himself. The trick to this level is to keep moving and to watch your every angle. I respawn and frantically throw all 3 grenades again in all directions, 3 deaths, works every time. A 3 kill streak means I get to use radar for 30 seconds which shows all of the enemies on screen as big red dots.

I have to take advantage of this.

I don’t bother trying to catch any of the posts; instead I wait in one of the containers on the far end of the level that acts like a tunnel. You can run right through it which a lot of people do, but most players ignore one very important fact. At either end, you get a panoramic view of the level and can see so much happening if you pay attention.

I decide to stay on the open ended left side of this container and pick off the targets that I can see on my radar coming towards me. I shoot 2 dead in their tracks. A 5 kill streak means I can call in an air strike. With my radar still active I pick the most populated area with red dots and send the flyboys in. I turn and run to the right side of the container and see another 3 enemies. I empty an entire magazine and take them out in a hailstorm of bullets. Now I’ve exceeded a 7 kill streak which means I can call in a chopper. Now the real fun begins. Before that comes though, the air strike deals 7 more deaths from above to my enemies.

I keep a close eye on the left and right flank of this container. I can see that the enemy is trying to converge on my position. I reload quickly and take a few out on the right side near one of the posts. They’ll be back. I run to the other end of the container and come face to face with an opponent. Too close to use a gun. I’m the fastest to draw a knife. One fatal stab the chest later and he’s gone. He’ll also be back for revenge.

The grim reaper of the skies arrives.

All eyes are on the death dealer. The beautiful thing about the chopper is that it hovers above and rains down a storm of bullets to all of my enemies. The ones that are too busy trying to shoot it down get taken down by either me or my team mates. I stand my ground whilst my team mates capture the posts. Within a minute the chopper takes down 30 enemies whilst at the same time I’m taking out 4 to 5 at a time. Every single person I have killed is heading straight for the containers for some revenge, but not today. Thanks to the steady aim and eavesdrop ‘perks’ I can hear what the enemy is saying and without having to aim too accurately I simply point and shoot. They don’t realise that I can hear them so I’m pre-empting all of their attacks. 3 are coming from the left side but I’m already there and pick them off. 1 is coming from the right but I go out of the container from the left and as soon as he goes in, I head right behind him where my knife meets his back.

At this point I get a little too cocky and wonder out of the containers to hunt down anyone I can find. Within minutes I get fragged by a stray grenade. No matter though. I just scored a 78 kill streak before that death. As soon as I respawn I throw 2 grenades and cook the last one. No kills, so I run to the nearest enemy with the cooked grenade and blow the both of us up.

Martyrdom never tasted so good.

Before the game ends I manage to capture a post and rack up some extra points. We win. I rank first place on our team. I’m feeling euphoric. My adrenaline is pumping through my veins. I’m ecstatic. In the heat of the moment I scream out loud, “Come on you slags!”

Before I realise what I just did, I see my girlfriend get out of bed and walk toward me in the vein of one of George A. Romero’s creations. She comes right up to me with her bloodshot eyes and gives me the look of death. She turns her attention to my Xbox 360. She raises her hand and with her index finger turns off the console and heads back to bed without uttering a single word. I’m going to be sleeping on the floor tonight.

She gets the pleasure of the final kill.

As I rest in the dark, the adrenaline starts to wear off and I begin to recall every single frag. A large smile forms on my face as I exhale a very satisfying sigh. I’m delighted. I can sleep easy tonight as I bask in the glory of my victory.

What a triumph. What a sweet conquest. Winning never felt so good.